Go ahead and despair. You've got plenty of reason to. Mourn what you've lost, what we've lost, what the world has lost.
If you're thinking about drinking, and you're in recovery- getting drunk is not going to make you feel better. There's no amount of alcohol you can consume that is going to numb the hurt.
If you're in danger of hurting yourself or others, get help. Try and be patient with the people whose job it is to help, because they're probably pretty overwhelmed right now. You're far from the only one having these thoughts.
Do what you have to do to stay alive. Beyond that, fuck everything else. Nothing in the world is more important than your sorrow right now.
